Has anyone ever moved to a new town and spent a month of Sundays “Church Hunting?” It probably followed a stressful month with new jobs starting, exhausting work days where you were just struggling to find the copy machine and remember your boss’s dog’s name, and coming home to wrinkled suits still in boxes.

And that’s assuming that you successfully found that home or apartment after searching for yet another month of Sundays.

I have a confession to make. I didn’t visit a prosperity Gospel church as a part of my one-year mission to experience different expressions of faith. I have been popping into them for 20 years. When I worked as a minister, Sunday was a work day, and finding a relaxed church to just enjoy the spirit of God was a huge gift. Even the shepherds need to get fed.

Where did I go to find living water? A place that had a QR Code on a screen instead of offering plates, had a coffee shop in the lobby, and a full rock band on the stage with flashing lights, and yes, “gasp,” smoke billowing up when the melodies were especially angelic. But I digress …

What even is a prosperity Gospel church? Could you be going to one and not even know it? So many questions.

Let’s start with the shining star in the movement with Joel Osteen, himself. My visit to Lakewood church in Houston, Texas is a treasured memory.

 When I pulled my red Mini-Cooper into the multi-level parking garage, I didn’t get to see how many levels it went up because my visitor status earned me top parking honors. It felt like having that spot at the office reserved for Employe of the Month. You know the one. Right by the door, instead of the spot half a mile away, when it always seems to be raining, and you have forgotten your umbrella. …

You park and easily follow the crowd through doors, up escalators three stories high to an atrium that feels like your last visit to a professional sporting event or pricey concert. A shining and smiling face spots you in the crowd-if you are dazzled by the splendor, your wandering eyes mark you as a visitor. You have been warned.

After confirming that this is my first visit to Lakewood, my official Lakewood greeter says, “I know just to know what to do with you!”

He leads me down a maze of corridors, chatting and telling me insider secrets along the way, bypassing crowds and puts me front and center, SECOND row. Anyone who likes to be in the front of the church knows that the front row is off limits, and the Second row is the place to be.

Well, sad story, Joel was not in the house. A guest speaker filled his spot. It was great and all, but he wasn’t Joel Osteen. But wait, there’s more.

During the offering, before the baskets were passed, a lovely lady with a Southern accent turned and asked me, “Would you pass me an offering envelope?”

Would you believe that a neighbor behind me leaned up and said, “That’s Joel’s mama.” I just talked to Joel Osteen’s mama.

I know a lot of devout followers of Christ and people who understand truth and light are asking, what does that have to do with God?

Isaiah 40:1 says “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.” Comfort is the word repeated twice in this single verse by the prophet Isaiah. He was speaking to people whose homes and livelihoods were being threatened. Their land and rivers were being turned into wastelands, and their families being carried off to be slaves.

The daily grind isn’t as bad as all that, thank God. But during those years when a man is working a 60 hour week and mama is working and managing the kids and family at the same time, folks just need some TLC.

Cappucino with foam, taken into the sanctuary? Yes please.

A front row parking spot and gift bag with a homemade muffin? Don’t mind if I do. Fun and loud music that I can dance to, If I don’t know the words? I just got exercise.

A sermon from Deuteronomy 30 that reminds me that God wants me to be prosperous, and will restore my fortunes?! My son’s braces were put on a credit card, and I’m so glad God understands and is going to help me to cancel that debt.

I dance out the doors to thumping beats with hope in my heart and faith to get me through until next Sunday.

Prosperity Gospel is like getting a big promotion, the front row seat, or candy. “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!’ (Psalm 34:8)

Last question left unanswered: How do you know if it’s a prosperity gospel church, if it’s not Lakewood? The truth is, there’s no such thing as a prosperity gospel church. It’s just a label to help describe a certain style of experience in church. It grew in response to the struggles of working families in the city, trying to live Christian principles and pay the bills. They live a fast-paced life, have financial goals and work hard, and on Sunday, they are tired and need comfort.

Perhaps any church that comforts God’s people can proudly proclaim, “We are a prosperity Gospel church.” But you’ll have to visit a church for yourself to see if you’ve found one. There are quite a few right here in Victoria and they are treasures, hiding in plain sight.

Michele Ward is an ordained non-denominational minister and Outsider.